Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Weiner Watching

My job at the jail is fairly straight forward,cook,order food,schedule employees,ride herd on inmates,deal with inspectors,etc. But every once in awhile I have to do something out of my normal day. Like yesterday. I had to p-test a couple of inmates. Which means I have to go into the area (in this case, a holding cell) and watch them piss into a cup for a drug test. And I do mean WATCH! I have to make sure that they don't try and slip something into the cup other than there own stuff! Usually there is a male jailer around to do things like that but yesterday I was the only male on duty so guess who got to be the pecker checker?!

This is a very embarrassing situation, I mean, what do you talk about when you are standing there watching a guy hold his pecker waiting for the flow? "Hey,howz it hangin?" Is it really that cold in here?" "Come here much?" And especially when you get a guy who just can't "go" and you end up watching over and over for about an hour! And then you try every trick you know of to make them "go" (running water,etc) and it ends up YOU have to go really bad! It is difficult enough trying to be professional in that situation and even worse when you are dancing around and crossing your legs and thinking "GO NOW BEFORE I SHAKE IT OUT OF YOU!!!!!"

Work is interesting sometimes!


  1. I'm not sure what's funnier. That story, the picture that accompanied it, the term "pecker checker", or the whole package.

    Pun intended. :-)~

  2. That is hilarious! I can think of worst jobs than standing around watching some guy hold his pride and joy. Of course, the problem is that you have no choice on who you have to watch. But the story was so funny, I was laughing so hard, that I peed a little. Job accompolished!